Diabetes Is Ruining My Life

I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes about 8 years ago. Last year I decided to stop taking my insulin because stupid me, I lost 50 lbs and thought I could just stop. I know, I know.

Well, I ended up in the hospital for blood sugar over 500 and my A1C is 12.5. To make matters worse I have Crohns. I have had ulcerative colitis since 1991. Multiple surgeries, and it went into remission for over 20 years and then BAM, it’s been back for over 5 years. That’s a whole other story.

So, the thing I love and that we all probably love to do, which is eat, is now something that’s not pleasurable anymore because 1. I’m angry that I have this disease and can’t even whatever I want, 2. It’s never going to go away, and 3. I now have to make eating a 24/7 headache.. what to eat? how much? blah blah blah.. yes, I am whining and I should be over it by now but I am still angry I got this. I am angry that I have to take insulin, I am angry that it’s something that is always on my mind, that I have to plan meals, what to buy, what to eat, what I can’t eat…. It’s never ending and it’s time consuming and it’s exhausting. Not to mention what happens if it goes too high.. sweating, dizzy, heart racing.. etc.. you guys know!

My son is a paramedic and he’s always watching and critiquing what I eat.. same with my soon to be daughter I law who is in nursing school, except she tells me everything that could go wrong if I don’t take care of myself.
It’s depressing and it makes me sad. I know many people have it and it could be worse but I have other issues on top of this, so it’s not just one thing. I’m TIREDTired of dealing with this, tired of being tired, tired of having to deal with this, tired that I can’t just NOT think about what goes in my mouth for fear I will have a reaction.

What to do? I don’t want anything amputated, God forbid, or lose my eyesight, have a heart attack, stroke, etc. I’m starting to become very depressed and can’t shake it. I am finding it hard to see the bright side…

Having two chronic diseases is two too many… (say that 4 times fast).. As you see my sense of humor is pretty messed up.

I need some advice how to get through this…

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