What I Feel When I Think About Diabetes

By TheLongPointGirl

2 min read

Diabetes. Just that word evokes a reaction. A visceral reaction. A reaction in my brain that I can't control because it's happened before I even realize it.

Emotions because of type 2 diabetes

It makes me think about things I don’t want to think about. It makes me feel things I don’t want to feel.

Sadness

I feel sad when I think of diabetes. A sadness that some days I can't describe. It fills my heart, I tear up and I just want it to go away. Sometimes the sadness is related to knowing my loved ones may be affected by it someday. Other times it is for the people I have met that have challenges they can’t overcome because of diabetes. Sometimes I just feel sad for myself.

Anger

I feel anger when I think of diabetes. Why me? Why didn’t I pay attention to my risk factors before the diagnosis? Why did it happen to you too? Why did it happen to that little child? Doesn’t diabetes know that life is hard enough without this extra challenge? Why hasn’t a cure been found? I feel like I could explode when I think about diabetes.

Fear

I feel fear when I think of diabetes. What if I can’t manage it? Will I need scary treatments? Will it change my life? Will I have complications from it? Will I die from it?

Tired

I feel tired when I think of diabetes. It’s emotional tiredness; not a “I didn't get enough sleep” tiredness. Sometimes I feel exhausted right down to the bone where I don’t want to do anything. I’m too tired to talk to anyone; too tired to be with anyone. Too tired to exercise. Too tired to pay attention to what I am eating.

Resignation

I feel resignation when I think of diabetes. Resignation sets in because diabetes wins. I do everything right but the numbers are wrong. Ding, ding, ding! “Diabetes wins again.” Some days I don’t even want to try to get good numbers. What for? Diabetes will only win once more.

Stress

I feel stress when I think of diabetes. There is life stress, work stress, personal stress and other sources of stress that just add to the stress of having diabetes. It’s easy to say find ways to manage your stress but can we really? The stress diabetes creates becomes a part of us so after a while, we don’t even realize just how stressed we really are.

Hope and determination

Then the sun shines. I feel the warmth. The warmth infiltrates my body and my mind. It warms my heart. I realize it's a new day and I have another chance to live my life in a new way and I am grateful for that. I start over because, well, isn’t that what the new day is for? I tell diabetes to get back in line, I’m in charge. Diabetes, you may influence my thoughts and my heart some days but I am stronger than you are. Oh yes, you will be able to get ahead of me at times but I will not let you win. Not now. Not ever.

I live peacefully, most days, in spite of diabetes and the feelings it creates.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Type2Diabetes.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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thedynamicdiabetic Member
Shelley, I have interviewed countless diabetics and they almost 100% experience those feelings you talked about at some point. It seems many diabetics are so overwhelmed that they do nothing! That is the saddest to me! I strive to help people gain control and keep the conversation about our disease to continue!
alexia Member
Wish someone would discuss the fear of needles. Dont know If I can do it (I sulin) I cant be the only feeling this way
1. TheLongPointGirl Moderator & Contributor
 Hi Alexia. You’re not alone believe me. I’m less afraid of the needles but more afraid of insulin. We all have some fear about many things with diabetes. Here is a great article by Liz. I hope this helps you. <a href='https://type2diabetes.com/living/type-2-diabetes-treatments-injectibles-fear-needles' target='_blank'>https://type2diabetes.com/living/type-2-diabetes-treatments-injectibles-fear-needles</a> <a href='https://type2diabetes.com/living/help-im-scared-needles' target='_blank'>https://type2diabetes.com/living/help-im-scared-needles</a>
sbeloved40 Member
That's a good description of what I feel most times. Good job. It helps knowing that I am not alone in feeling like this.
1. TheLongPointGirl Moderator & Contributor
 Hi Sbeloved40, I’m so sorry for the late reply. I’m so glad you don’t feel so alone. Each of us has a personal journey with diabetes so it can feel like we are the only ones going through this. But you are not alone. We are here for you as a community.
Tula62 Member
Omg that’s me to, we’ve had so much stress in last 6 years losing so many people, and have a son with autism that lives with a couple and was moved to another home, that was stressful my other son deals with addiction more stress, my husband has diabetes to. I have it to, and let me tell ya the stress we have been under is a lot but I manage to get a walk in at the mall everyday well most days, sorry for your loss of your dad, I lost my mom to, I find it hard not having her here to talk to. I like reading your posts, diabetes is no easy task, I have back issues that stress me out to that hinder in what I can do. And other things wrong, life can throw you curve balls. My doctor retired and that’s another stressor finding a new one is impossible, because of a doctor shortage, Covid numbers are going up here where I live another damn stressor, I’m fully vaccinated but for us who have diabetes it’s a concern. Ugh!!!!!!
1. TheLongPointGirl Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Tula62" user-id="4788345"/> I’m so sorry you have so much to deal with! You are so very resilient to be dealing with all of that, all at once. It seems sometimes like stress just won’t leave us alone and lurking in the background is our diabetes that we are supposed to be attentive to all the time. Sometimes it’s a trade off in what we choose to deal with at the time. How are you managing your diabetes? If you can keep up your walking safely that will help the diabetes but also your stress. How is your husband managing his? I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. Do you get to stay connected to your son who lives with autism? I hope your other son can get the help he needs to deal with his addiction. When my dr retired I was devastated. But after a couple of unsuccessful matches, I now have a great dr. I hope you find the same. Please know you and your husband are not alone in your diabetes journey. TY for the compliment regarding my writing and how that helps you! Hugs!!!