Diabetes: Failure or Success?

I’ve always liked the phrase, failure is not an option. I strive to not fail. I strive to do the best job I can with my diabetes. I strive to get the numbers right. I strive to increase my exercise. I strive to avoid complications. I even strive for perfection.

But. It’s not always possible.

Is this failure?

It’s not always possible to do the best job with my diabetes. Heck, I like to drink a cooler now and then. I like to have dessert now and then. I like to live life at times without restriction. Is this failure?

I try really hard to get the numbers right. I test 4 or more times a day, most of the time, even though the recommendation is to test 4 times a week. Most weekends, I find I’m busy. Busy with chores or errands or just catching up with my family. Sometimes, especially on weekends, I forget to test altogether. All weekend. Is this failure?

I wear my fitness tracker from the time I get up in the morning to the time I go to bed because I want to see those steps. I want to walk ten thousand steps in a day. I check the tracker frequently through out my work day. That’s how I know if I can reach my goal. However, I really don’t see that many steps a lot of days. Is this failure?

I know by doing all the right things, I can avoid complications that are common to diabetes. Retinopathy. Neuropathy. Heart disease. Kidney disease. Sleep disorders. Thankfully at present I have none of these. But what if I did have one/some of these…is this failure?

Then. Oh then. There’s perfection. I try to do all things right. If I don’t make that grade, is this failure?

This is success

I think none of these things define failure. I know diabetes takes willpower, dedication, commitment and investment. Most of the time, I have the will power to eat healthy, minimize the partying and remember that investment in my health, in myself, is not a restriction. This is success.

I know that I am dedicated to testing my blood sugars. I feel pangs of guilt when I get to Monday morning and I realize I didn’t test all weekend. Those pangs of guilt motivate me to make sure I start again and get back into my routine of testing 4 times a day. This is success.

Checking in with my fitness tracker is motivating. If I’m halfway through my workday and I’m looking at 2,000 steps, not 5,000, I know I’ve got some catching up to do. Will I make 10,000 each day? Not likely. Some days I’m pretty happy with 7,500 steps especially if it’s an office day. But I make the effort. When I do my weekly upload of steps to the app, I am often blown away when I see I have hit my target several times that week when I thought I hadn’t hit it at all. This is success.

Diabetes is progressive. Even with the best adherence to the recommendations, I still may have complications. In my heart, when I know I have done my best then I have not failed. No. I have given myself a gift. I have succeeded by holding off those complications for as long as I did. This is success.

Perfection may be a goal. Is it attainable? In the strictest sense, I’d say no. Is it definable in my terms? Yes. Has all my effort helped me make the grade? Yes.

I’d call all of this success.