I Can’t Do Diabetes Right Now

By TheLongPointGirl

2 min read

The last six months of events with my loved ones’ health have impacted my life and have been hell. I haven’t been able to look after my diabetes the way I’d like to. It just couldn’t be the focus. Life has gotten complicated.

When life happens, diabetes takes a back seat

My young adult daughter had a routine surgery back in May that went sideways. Her recovery, which is still not complete, has had many setbacks. Too many. Through all of this I walked beside her every step of the journey. Trust me when I say, it has not been easy for her, or me, or the rest of our family. Considering I was living at the hospital with her or running back to the hospital, or have been accompanying her to medical appointments every two days since, I was shocked to see my A1C in range three months ago. Eating cafeteria or fast food more often than not for three months does not usually support diabetes.

In the following three months to now, my dad’s health declined to a point where he has now passed. That was a week ago. It has not been an easy journey for dad. My elderly mom has needed a lot of TLC to get through it all. It has been a lot of years since I have had to deal with any loss, thankfully. It is however my first time losing a parent and this loss is a big one.

Stress

With all this going on, my stress level has been through the roof. Somehow in all of this, I was supposed to look after my diabetes. How was I supposed to do that? Testing. Eating well. Exercising. Getting good sleep. Those things have just not been on my radar; not as important right now in light of the rest of the picture. I have been overwhelmed. Diabetes seems so small at the moment in comparison. I have been reminded by others that I should do a better job of looking after myself but I’m finding that impossible. I’m not sleeping well. I’m dealing with sadness I have never had to deal with before. I’m grieving. I am constantly in a state of worry for others. I am not depressed but I know that I am at risk for it relative to these life events. I deal with my stress through eating and there is a bit too much Halloween candy available right now.

Next week I see my endocrinologist. He will listen to what has gone on in my life. He will sympathize. His focus will be my numbers. His focus will be changing my treatment which I will resist because I know I can do better without making change. I can’t cope with more change right now. On the flip side, maybe he will be the push I need to get back on track. Right now, I just don’t feel it.

I have a small but mighty support system and I am resilient. I have the resources I need to deal with all of this. I will be fine soon, but I’m not there yet.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Type2Diabetes.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Katherine Gutwald, RD Moderator & Contributor
Hi Shelley, So sorry to hear about your loss and struggles. Thinking of you. Katie
1. TheLongPointGirl Moderator & Contributor
 Thanks Katie. It will get better soon. Hugs!
Corinna Santa Ana Moderator & Contributor
Shelley, so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Life hands us challenges, with or without diabetes being in the mix. It will take time to work through all that's going on. I find it encouraging that you are confident that, at some point, you will feel better. P.S. Telling your endo "not now" to more change is a perfectly legitimate response.
1. TheLongPointGirl Moderator & Contributor
 Thanks Corinna. It’s been and still is a long road with a lot of expected and unexpected turns. Right now it’s like looking through fog. Not sure what’s around the bend. It’s one day at a time right now. And yes I know things will get better. Of that I have no doubt. Funny though. When I saw my endo, all he said was he wouldn’t change anything even though my A1C was up a bit. He said we will talk in 3 months and just do what I can. I really like that guy.
2. Tula62 Member
 <inline-mention username="TheLongPointGirl" user-id="3627407"/> Aww I hope things get better it’s a struggle I know. Sounds like you have a good endo, I don’t even have one I will look into this.
Tula62 Member
Omg, I hear you big time, my stress has been through the roof to, I to am grieving, and diabetes is so hard to manage when life throws so much at a person. I injured my shoulder and I alot of pain which makes it hard to sleep. I see a physiotherapist but it’s not getting any better. We’re also in the middle of trying to sell my moms townhouse which isn’t selling because the market has gone soft, and it’s bringing up a lot of hard emotions, the tears are flowing, and my brother in-law passed 7 months ago and it’s been hard, losing him and brought up my grief heavy again for my mom and some anniversaries of other people who have passed, my moms is coming up in November and feeling it. So I’m feeling quite down I miss her soooo much, I just wish I could get a good night sleep, worry and stress and grief have overwhelmed me. Such a empty hole in my life without my mom😢
1. Trinette Stanford, LLC, RN, FNP-C, CDCES Moderator
 @Tula62 I am so sorry to hear about all of the stress that you are going through right now. It is a difficulty thing to be grieving for lost loved ones in addition to trying to sell property. Have you considered writing a letter to your mother. Put in the letter all of the things you would tell her in a face - to-face conversation. Express your feelings, no need to hold back. This is a form of release that can help with the healing process. You can do the same thing about your brother-in-law too. Hope this helps. Trinette Stanford, moderator
2. Tula62 Member
 <inline-mention username="Trinette Stanford" user-id="4825898"/> Thankyou for your reply it makes me feel better and I’m not going crazy❤️
TheLongPointGirl Moderator & Contributor
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to lose a parent even though we know someday it might happen. And add to that the loss of others we love makes it so difficult to cope. Grief is a journey, it doesn’t go away over night. Pain is going to affect your sugars too. It can shoot them through the roof!! Hopefully you will see improvement soon. Just do the best you can with your diabetes. Hugs!! We’re here for you! 
1. Tula62 Member
 <inline-mention username="TheLongPointGirl" user-id="3627407"/> Thanks for your reply it helps that someone out there cares❤️