"Get Out of My Head": My T2D Diagnosis Story

Editor's note: Content warning – This article includes experiences with disordered eating.

I know I've shared this information with you all a thousand times. But I just want to give you insight into my mindset from when I was 19 years old. My mom went into a diabetic coma at the age of 37 and died, and I was 19 then. The one thing that stuck in my mind all these years was that her doctor told my sisters and me that one of us would develop diabetes. Well, the doctor was right. It was me.

Struggling after my diabetes diagnosis

Being diagnosed with diabetes at a very young age, I experienced all kinds of making and breaking points on this journey. The worst thing which I have gone through was a body image issue. I struggled with the thoughts that diabetes and medication intake made me gain unwanted weight. The fact that I couldn't eat my favorite foods was even worst.

Intrusive thoughts about my body image

Thoughts like, "I don't look pretty," and many others along those lines, continued piling up in my brain without any conscious effort. See, when you're young, your outlook towards life, health, and other aspects is very different. There was a time I used to have a vibrant, careless, carefree attitude.

But my thoughts at that time were for me to worry about my food, medication, and clothes. I had become bitter. I was angry that I had to face all that diabetes brings. The rest of my friends and family looked so perfect, beautiful, and healthy, and I felt like I was going downhill.

Skipping medications and more

Over the years, I acquired some unhealthy habits. I started skipping my daily blood sugar monitoring and medication at times too. With that, I used to eat whatever I craved, no matter how sweet or sugary. I would just eat it, fill myself with it and then throw up later on without even realizing that I was developing an eating disorder that could've escalated into something extremely dangerous.

Keeping my struggle a secret

One day I had an "ah-ha" moment. The only thing that made sense for me at the time was for me to lose weight and to look good for me. Now that I was doing all of this, I just wanted to keep it a secret. So to ensure nobody knew about it, I skipped my doctor appointments too. In hindsight, that was a huge mistake.

When diabetes sent me to the hospital

Not giving enough thought to the consequences of my actions, I kept on doing this. One day I ended up in the hospital bed due to diabetic ketoacidosis. It got treated immediately, but my doctor caught me right there.

He asked me about my eating plan and medicine intake; I stayed silent. Then, I burst into tears. I was tired and drained. He consoled me and told me that it happens and is sometimes part of the process. Diabetes is hard.

Finding support for my mental health

Thankfully my situation did not get worse, and I discussed what I was going through with my doctor. He recommended that I join a support group or talk to a psychologist. Believe me, after 1 or 2 sessions, that discomfort from my appearance improved. I felt more like myself when I made peace with how I looked.

My health is important to me now

My family and friends played a huge role in supporting me, supporting my confidence to be comfortable in my own skin. I learned that being healthy and loving myself was far more important than forcing myself to lose weight.

This happened 40 years ago. I started to look at myself differently. I loved myself for however I looked and looked forward to a healthy lifestyle for years to come.