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What are your experiences with grief and diabetes management?

There are so many things that can impact diabetes management. One aspect that can particularly be overlooked is grief. I wanted to use this forum thread as a space to talk about how grief can impact diabetes management. How has grief impacted your diabetes management?What words of encouragement or advice would you give to others affected by grief and having a difficult time managing their diabetes?How can others help support you while grieving?Please use this as a space to vent and share your thoughts as it relates to grief and diabetes 💕Submit your own question!

  1. Well where do I begin, first off I have had 4 deaths in my family, 2 recent and one 4 years ago and my sweet dear mom 6 years ago. I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes 3 years before my mom died, so I have not had a break from grief since my diagnosis, plus I grieve my diagnosis to. My A1 c has gone up one number use to be in the 5’s and now is in the low six’s that’s from stress of losing so many people. I’m exhausted. My sleep has been effected with each death, so it effects my eating schedule, having problems getting to sleep and up late grieving and stressed, so I try to sleep in. I’m up peeing at least 3 times a night to, my glucose isn’t that bad but the stress after losing someone does take a toll, I miss my mom very much, and will always feel the pain of losing her, she was my support through many rough days with diabetes, and the tears I shed living with this disease. She was my rock. My moms death was the hardest out of all of them and still is which is a normal thing to feel, when you lose a parent. We were close and loved her dearly. I don’t have much advice for someone, going through this except, don’t be hard on yourself if your management gets out of whack, your not Superwomen or Superman, and have a trusted friend or someone you can talk to about your grief do not suppress it, I talk to a councillor.

    1. hello , I am so sorry that you are going through so much. It's hard, I know. I lost my mom when I was 19 of T2D. She was 37. I was devastated at first and didn't think I could go on. I didn't want to go on. I had to seek counseling which helped me out a lot. We all need support. Thanks for sharing. Diane, (Team Member)

  2. I like to add, I didn’t have a lot of support from my doctor when I was diagnosed with diabetes, especially the part where you are scared when diagnosed and what you go through the diet the emotions, I cried this disease is very hard to live with, my mom was there for comfort and could talk to her about it all, I lost her and her support. Now my doctor is retiring and now have no doctor which stresses me out more than ever, we have a doctor shortage here in Canada. He doesn’t seem concerned, doesn’t seem to care. I’m upset, when you have diabetes it’s very important to have a good doctor who understands what you go through with this disease. With everything else going on and now this. It could take a long time to get another doctor, and this time I want one who is compassionate towards me when it comes to my diabetes. And not brush me off when I was in distress after a year of dealing with this everyday. Just because I was doing okay with my A1c doesn’t mean your not feeling the pressure with this disease, he didn’t get that part. Juggling life around diabetes is hard and exhausting. I’m not sugar coating it, this is true. There is no outside support for people with diabetes, family members do not get how stressful it can be like my adult kids don’t seem to get it. Or my friends. With grief or diabetes.

    1. , thank you for being willing to share your experiences with us so thoroughly. Support is so important and I think many in the community can agree that others without diabetes find it hard to relate. Uncertainty of what it will be like with a new doctor is really worrisome, especially with the shortage. I hope you'll get a more compassionate and supportive one. With the shortage, I'm not sure if it's possible, but I know some people find extra help and success with a certified diabetes educator. If you haven't already looked into one, maybe they could help as well: &

      I think you illustrate, very descriptively, how grief can impact a person and how that's amplified with diabetes. Sleep, eating habits, stress, mental health, etc. from grief all relate to one another and impact diabetes management. This line, "Just because I was doing okay with my A1c doesn’t mean your not feeling the pressure with this disease." Also really spoke to me, I think many others in the community can also relate.

      I know people grieve in different ways and it can ebb and flow on different days or times of year. I'm glad you have a counselor, but if you ever want to talk about your mom or other loved ones that passed away in this forum/community, please feel free to.

      Sending gentle hugs,
      Minel (Team Member)

  3. hello. first and foremost, consider yourself fortunate ton have a a1c in in the 6's ! indeed I wish I could without great struggles. Second, death is as natural as it gets, your mom was lucky to have lived a good long life, rejoice in this; some of us have wives, children who have been taken at early ages. My case, my wife was killed by an impaired driver, 6 months later to die of a kidney diesease... poeitic justice? karma? who the hell cares, I was widowed at 47 years old, my children were without a mother at ages 7 and 9. I grieved, still do, you have no idea. I was diagnosed 6 months after with T2 its been 14 years. Life goes on, because it must and so should we. Try reding some Marcus Aurelius; and suck it up a bit! Cheers.

    1. hello , It's not easy when we lose someone we loved so much. I have been there. I had 19 aunts and uncles that are all gone. Plus my mom, a child, and so many friends. This is not an easy road to travel when you have other illnesses and so much to deal with. All of us grieve differently. Finding a good doctor was the key for me too. I had one that handed me a piece of paper and told me to follow the diet. That was it. I never went back. Sometimes family doesn't understand either, this is why I had to find outside support. This was the best thing I could have ever done. Thank you for sharing such a powerful story with the community. We are here for support. Diane (Team Member)

    2. I didn’t find your comment helpful at all. I think you have alot of anger in you and maybe trying some counseling may help you. Try reading a book by Megan Devine, It’s Okay Not To Be Okay, I think you would benefit from her book.

  4. I am sorry for your loss, my mom raised us kids on her own and she did a great job with us. Grief is very hard especially when it’s tragic, my dad was a great dad miss him to. It was difficult growing up with out him. He missed out on so much, seeing his grandchildren, seeing me get married, ect.

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