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Feeling lost

I feel like a total failure as a wife.. Tuesday it was confirmed that my 40 year old husband has type 2 diabetes. His blood sugar was 192 at his blood draw which is down from the week before as that was 240. We are still waiting to see the results of his A1C (they forgot to run the test). He has started Metformin HCL 500mg tablet once a day and glipizide xl 5mg tablet twice a day. We see the nurse and dietitian in two weeks. He absolutely dislikes needles.. We have already cut back/out certain foods/drinks. Between being so frustured with my husband as he was told last year he was pre-diabetic and I had told him he needed to watch his food, exercise etc.. I feel so helpless and I am in denial. This is one thing I can't fix for him. I have been researching every website and some fb groups I can find for more information, meal ideas and what not. I stopped at the library and checked out 4 books and have read 2 so far. I am so confused on meals. I am so confused how to change our lifestyle and incorporate changes.

  1. @Lyssa, I'm sorry to hear about your husband's recent diagnosis. It can be frustrating and overwhelming, but this is not your fault nor failure. It is no one's fault or failure. Sometimes, it just cannot be helped. You are absolutely right though, you cannot change this for him.

    Getting a new T2D diagnosis can be completely overwhelming, but it sounds like you've been trying to make some small changes already so you are ahead of the game, if you ask me! 😉

    If your husband hasn't already done so, I would consider asking the doctor for diabetes education and to consult with a dietician. The doctor should be able to help set those things up.

    For meals, pay attention to the amount of sugar and carbohydrates. Quite frequently the carbs are overlooked as there are some in a lot of things that you would not necessarily think of. Experimenting with spices and seasonings and other condiments can help make meals more flavorful. I've taken the liberty of pulling some article links that might be helpful for you.

    One thing that your post did not mention is exercise. Has your husband started incorporating exercise into his daily routine? This can be immensely helpful. You could make a simple 30 minute walk part of your after dinner routine as a couple/family. Even something that simple goes a long way.

    https://type2diabetes.com/living/easy-tips-make-diet-wonderful

    https://type2diabetes.com/nutrition/healthy-grilling-tips

    https://type2diabetes.com/nutrition/small-changes-healthy-eating

    https://type2diabetes.com/nutrition/four-fabulous-food-flavor-boosters-and-a-recipe

    https://type2diabetes.com/nutrition/change-recipe

    For me, the biggest thing is not to make ALL the changes all at once! Start with some small things and build from there. Doing it as a couple/family is helpful and it teaches everyone healthier habits.

    Keep us updated on how things go. ~Liz, Moderator

    1. Thank you for your reply. I cried as I read it. I am a mess. We have started doing family bike rides after supper, the ride is 2.25 miles and takes us about 30 mins. We do have an exercise room with a stationary bike, an elliptical and a weight bench... Getting him into the room is something I plan on working on. We are starting slow I sat down with him and we made a list of 4 things to work on 1. Cut back and out soda ( i know he is down to 1 a day and trying every other day) I am not buying anymore soda after this case is gone. 2. He needs to start packing his lunch the night before 3. Cut back on the sweets 4. Start measuring/using the food scale for the food he puts on his plate/lunchbox. Next week I am going to work with him on keeping a food log. We have an appt in two weeks with a nurse and a dietitian. I am hoping to receive more knowledge on what he can eat/drink and has to cut back/out. He also works retail, his hours are always crazy and he normally works 45 hours a week at times things are alittle tricky when to get in exercise and eating 100% healthy. Thank u for including the links! I will be reviewing them after I post this.

      1. @Lyssa thanks for sharing. Sounds like you have some good steps lined up here. Since he works retail, he should probably make sure to let his supervisor know that he has been diagnosed as they are required by law to make sure he gets the breaks that he needs so he can properly care for himself (hydrate and have snacks, if need be). You are on the right track, but he definitely needs to get himself on board and you cannot force him to do that. For about a decade, I cared for my father who was also T2D and even though I did my best to follow what his doc suggested, he got others to bring things to him that he shouldn't have while I was at work. You can only do so much and you are not to blame if he does not get on board.

        Here's a couple of articles about being a T2D caretaker: https://type2diabetes.com/living/supporting-someone

        https://type2diabetes.com/living/caregivers-tips

        Here's a Featured Collection for Family Life with T2D:
        https://type2diabetes.com/family-affair

        You may want to take a look at our forums as well to make a post to connect with other spouses facing similar challenges: https://type2diabetes.com/forums?page=1

        Good luck. ~Liz, Moderator

    2. That sounds like a plan. Just be careful with COVID though, that is still a pain. I hope you guys do well.

      1. agreed...getting out and starting to live life again post-vaccine is a good thing, but still take precautions and be sure to mask up! Even if you are vaccinated, that doesn't mean everyone is and you can still be a carrier and end up exposing others in high risk populations and those too ill or under certain types of treatments that are unable to get vaccinated at this time. ~Liz, Moderator

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